


friendship goals

by auroraphilealis (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Best Friends, Multi, Other, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 06:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11202015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: if dan and phil were platonic best friends who shared everything, this is how they’d talk to each other





	friendship goals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeletonflowers/gifts).



> inspired by my friendship with @botanistlester

"Phil... I just, I really like him, you know? But he's like, three years older than me, and I'm pretty sure he's had like ten boyfriends by now, and I'm -- I'm," Dan whispered over the phone, hiding his eyes with his hand even though he knew Phil couldn't seem him.

His best friend sat quiet on the other end of the line save for his breathing, which was as calming and shallow as always. Dan tried to focus on that, rather than the panic constricting his heart.

"But you like him," Phil stated calmly.

Dan nodded his head before realizing Phil couldn't see that, and then managed a meek little, "Yes."

"Then I don't see what the problem is?"

Dan moaned, and collapsed backwards on his bed, head puffing against his pillow and making a loud noise that caused Phil to chuckle.

"I'm serious Phil! Why aren't you taking me seriously!"

"I am!" Phil shot back, sounding a little offended. "How can it be any more simple than  _talking_  to the guy, I mean. What's the worst that can happen?"

Dan rolled over with another little moan and shoved his face into his pillow.

"What if he wants to have sex with me?"

"What?"

"What if he wants to have sex with me?"

"Dan, I can't hear you when you muffle your voice like that."

"I _said_ ," Dan whined, pulling back from the pillow and shoving his phone closer to his mouth, "What if he wants to shove his dick in my ass, you asshole!"

There was a shocked sound from the other end of the line, and then a low chortling that made Dan's cheeks turn pink, followed by the sound of Phil muffling his laughter with the palm of his hand. If Phil wasn't just over the phone, Dan would have whacked him over the head with a pillow by now.

"Ph _iiil_ ," he whined. "I'm serious! Stop being such a shite friend," he complained, pouting as he rolled over on his bed once more so he was staring up at his ceiling again. "I'm really nervous, okay? He's got like, ten times more experience than me. I don't know what I'm meant to do."

Phil didn't reply for a moment. Dan wasn't sure what to make of that, but he waited patiently, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He really, really needed his best friend right now. 

Really.

"Dan," Phil finally said, "You're an idiot." 

His voice was fond, and so soft that Dan couldn't help but choke on a small laugh, shaking his head as the hot tears started to fall down his cheeks.

"I know, no need to remind me," he complained, but Phil was quick to shush him.

"Look, if the guy likes you, and he's anything like what you told me, he's not gonna try and fuck you on the first date or something, okay? I'm sure he'll teach you how to have sex with him. And if he doesn't, well, then, I'll rip his fucking dick off."

The last statement sent Dan into a flurry of laughter, and he rolled onto his belly once more to cackle into his pillow. He was still crying, because this was embarrassing and terrifying, okay? But Phil had a knack for breaking the tension between the two of them, and now was no exception. 

Dan's stomach hurt from laughing. The idea of innocent little Phil with the scrawny muscles _smaller_  than Dan and far skinnier, trying to rip Justin’s dick off was hilarious, and yet endearing and reassuring all in one.

Phil always knew exactly what to say.

"Shut up, Phil, you can't even jerk yourself off," Dan teased him once he'd gotten his breathing back under way. "You have to have Sam do it for you."

This time, Phil was the one to choke, making a loud complaining noise as he laughed on the other end of the line. The tension was broken, their usual silly banter back, and while Dan had wanted to have a serious conversation with his best friend, somehow this seemed more right.

"Yeah, but I won't be jerking Justin off, now will I? I just need a knife and a --"

"Phil!" Dan shouted. "You know I kind of want that dick inside of me, right?" he complained. "I'd much rather _not_  hear about how you're gonna cut it off, okay?!"

Phil laughed, but he seemed a bit more serious this time as he said, "Okay, “ he promised, “I’m sorry. But Dan? I mean it. I think he'll treat you right. You've got nothing to worry about."

Dan grinned.

“Thanks, Phil.”

"Anytime. Just make sure you let me know how good he is in bed when you get there, cause Sam and I like to mix it up in the bedroom from time to time, and I could really use some tips.”

“Phil!” Dan complained.

“What! It’s about time you help me out in the bedroom for once! God, you act like you’re the only one who was a virgin!”

“I hate you,” Dan complained, but really, he meant the opposite. 

“No you don’t,” Phil replied in a sing song voice. 

“No,” Dan agreed, “I don’t.”

After all, how could Dan hate his best friend?


End file.
